I'm thirty weeks pregnant and I've done nothing to document this pregnancy. Sorry kid! I don't have a picture but I thought I should at least jot down a few words.
First trimester was rough. I can't even explain. I never threw up and was functional, but the fatigue was unexplainable. I kept on thinking that this baby better hang on tight because if (God forbid) I had a miscarriage I would not plan another pregnancy. Dunzo. Cannot. But I plugged through. I plugged through a horrible cabin experience at Big Sandy where I'm certain we all got parasites and no one slept. Where the boat rides were torture for me and my one year old never stopped moving.
First trimester I craved Thai food. We ordered from a Thai restaurant near by weekly and my orders would be close to $20. A-because they arent' cheap and B-because everything sounded so good. I also craved coffee. I am not a coffee drinker. Mainly because it gives me the shakes. Even decaf can have an effect on me. But the sound of ice coffee was heavenly to me. I'd drink it sparangly, and it was oh so good.
Second trimester was but a mist. Felt great, minial complaints. Got the kids adjusted to the school schedule, finally figured out Rocco's allergy/eczema and he's SO much happier and survived moving the two older kids into one bedroom. I craved beer and wine. Like coffee, I don't care for beer or wine normally. Occasionally in my secont trimester I would crack open one of Joe's Bud Light Lime beers and have a few sips after lunch. Good gravey, each sip was so amazing. And wine, too. I never opened at bottle at home, but at a dinner party or some event I'd say yes to a few sips in my glass. Wowza!
Now I'm in my third trimester. I have two months left. I'm starting to get uncomfortable and if I'm on me feet too much I swell right up. I crave carbonation. I've been indluging myself with La Croix water. Growing up my mom always had carbonated drinks through the day and I never understood. Gross, I hate carbonation. Until now. I totally get it. It's like this pregnancy has flip flopped everything I ever identified myself as!
The larger I get the harder it is to get comfortable at night (naturally). Thankfully Rocco sleeps like a champ at night 94% of the time. And if one of the big kids come in to our bed in the middle of the night they go straight to Joe. So I'm usually uninterruped at night. Besidese the occasonal full bladder now and again.
My stomach gets full fast, which is always a bummer. And staying true to pregnancy in general, if I don't eat on time I almost pass out.
I can't really tell how baby is positioned. Sometimes I think he/she is head down because of where I feel the limbs moving, and other times I wonder if he/she is sideways as I think I feel a head or butt on my sides. I suppose baby is still moving around quit a bit in there.
I passed my glucose test. Booya! Barely, though. I was right on the line.
I have waves of anxiety as the due date is rounding the corner. Like, how is this possible. I JUST found out I was pregnant. And how am I going to care for four kids? I'm already at my max. And Rocco is still a baby, he's MY baby that I rock to sleep every night and I am not ready to give that up with him. And everybody needs me all the time. Logically I know it's possible because people have four or more kids all the time, but I am not sure I can emotionally handle the guilt of not physically and emotionally be there for all of them as much as they may need. I already feel like I constantly ping pong between three kids, how can I juggle a fourth?
And I have yet to even see the maternity ward at the hospital (I switched hospitals to follow my favorite midwife). And why do I still have so many questions when I've done this three time already?I find myself googling "things to bring to the hospital".
Since we are not finding out the gender things look a little different on the prearation end this time. And maybe that's because it's our fourth and I know that if I don't have a nursery perfectly ready before the baby comes WE ALL WILL STILL SURVIVE! Veda's old room will be baby's new room. The transitioning her out of her room was emotioanl for me in a werid and subtle way. It's not longer HER room. Gah! But Silas welcomed her to his room with open arms and with the first few rough nights out of the way they are doing great sharing. Veda actually sleeps better in her new room.
Anyway, so a room will not be ready. At all. Granted baby will sleep with us for a while so there is no rush to get the nursery set up. And we don't have a name. I mean, we have a girl and a boy name that we will probably use, but we both aren't in love with either name. Of all the people I talked to (surveyed) only one mom said she preferred finding out the gender as to being suprrised. ALL of the other moms rave about the surprise. But the one mom who liked finding out the gender better said it was becaue she felt more of a connection to the baby while she was carrying it. TOTALLY get that! I feel less of a connection not knowing the gender. Maybe it's because I am not imagining the baby since I don't know the gender or name. If it's a boy our life will look one way and a girl it will look another. So it's hard for me to do any forward thinking. Not that it's necesary. And of course once the baby gets here I will bond right away, I have no worries there. But I'm banking on the surprise being worth the wait.
I am having minor anxiety about this baby coming too fast. Veda was fast, Rocco was super fast and if things progress with each child I hope I make it across the boarder to Wisconson still pregnant! We plan on asking a neighbor to pop over and be with the kids while we head to the hospital as opposed to waiting thirty minutes for either my parents or Joe's parents to get here. And also I am hiring a friend to take photos of the birth and I need to make sure she is able to get there in time, too. Now after I just wrote this on the internet I'm sure this will be a long drawn out labor and delivery. Ha! Please, no! I much perfer and speedy one, even if it's more intense. And a water birth is on my 'birth plan', but what really is in my birth plan is SURVIVAL! Hit me up with narcotics and an epidural if I beg, please!
Ok, I have to throw my orange La Croix can in the recycling and rinse out the empty brownie pan I just poished off before bed. Hopefully next post will include a belly picture. I average a shower every four days so I only have so many 'clean' and 'cute' days to take that photo ;)
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