Wardrobe Malfunction

It's always the big dilemma for doctor appointments, do you get a sitter or bring the kids? Whether it's one kid's appointment or an appointment for me, I always go back and forth. It usually boils down to what it's worth. When the kids were super little I could guarantee you one would be screaming while I'd be sweating and the other one climbing up the walls while we wait in a little sterile 5x7 room for 25 minutes. Totally worth the $20 I'd pay a sitter...if I could find one.

So today I had a lab appointment, those things are quick, they just poke you and draw blood and you're done. I thought it would be silly for me to try to arrange a babysitter for it. I called the day before knowing that there is a big sign outside the Lab that says, "No children" with a big red circle and a line through some children playing. They said it would be fine for my kids to just sit right outside the door.

I walk back to the lab, not a nurse in sight. But man those kids are drawn to any handicap door button. I think between the two of them the door button to the lobby got pushed three times....they both got "stop it" in their ears and some pretty hefty arm squeezes. But they know I'm tongue tied in public and they also know how to push my buttons (pun intended!). They were in and out of exam rooms and bathrooms while I'm trying to get them to look at all the pictures on the walls. You know, cause enough of a scene so a nurse gets out there, but not enough of a scene where security needs to be called. We were teetering the fence.

The nurse finds me and tells me to go ahead and sit in the lab room. Yea, and leave these precious little shits to explore the clinic? So I stayed in the hall with them just so I could witness Veda open up a door with a HUGE sign on it that said, "Anesthesia patients only". There were people in there, probably passed out and as I grabbed her and shut the door my bra came unsnapped.

OMG! What do I do? I froze.

I was wearing one of those racer back front clasp bras (TMI?!). And by this time there was another couple waiting in line to get blood work so it would have been kind of a big deal if I hoisted up my tank top and tried to clasp it. So I did my best to turn around and do it through my shirt. No luck.

I finally gave the kids my phone, even though it say NO CELL PHONES BEYOND THIS POINT, and had them watch something on PBSkids.org. They were quiet and even sharing my phone (miracle!).

I gave my blood in peace but as I looked down I realized it looked like my boobs were under my armpits. Good grief. We hurried out of the clinic as fast as possible-- before it started to look like I had four boobs!

And of course Silas is in his zip up swimming suit and insisting he bring his blanket, Veda has her blanket too. I somehow talked her into keeping her two other (one being a huge fleece one) in the car to 'stay warm'. I was annoyed that they brought their blankets at first, but in the end those blankets did a good job of covering up my wardrobe malfunction!